Tuesday, July 7, 2009

HELP...going crazy!!

I am about two seconds from going completely nuts and being admitted to the crazy ward! This is just going to be a bunch of rambling but I have to get it out!! First off Nick and Chris are driving me crazy with their fighting, tattling, arguing, calling names, not sharing...you get the point. It has gotten so bad lately that when they walk in a room I cringe because I just know that someone did something to the other. I shouldn't cringe when my children walk into a room! What is wrong with me? I love these boys to death and I feel so bad because I don't know but I just feel like I don't have the patience to deal with all the crying and whining.

Dylan oh my lovely baby boy who is at my feet every time I try to walk up and do anything! He will crawl around and follow me and pull up on my pants leg and whine until I pick him up...yes it sounds cute but trust me after the 500 millionth time he does it..it gets slightly annoying! I can't get anything done around this house. When I do try and clean Dylan throws a fit because I am not paying attention to him. I am not worried about my house being so clean you can eat off the floors but come on Dylan I can't have dirty diapers hanging over the trash can! You have to let mommy do some cleaning!! I know this is a phase he is going through and it will pass(please tell me this is true).

Now on to my husband....ahhhhh I count down until 3:30 when he gets home so he can play with me and the kiddos outside and keep them occupied while I make dinner but guess what this rarely happens! He acts like he is stupid and doesn't know what to do when the baby cries or he doesn't know how to play with all three of them at once. Yes it is hard but guess what buddy I do it everyday! Please Mark pull your head out of your ass and start helping me with the kids otherwise I am going to end up in a nut ward from going crazy!

I am starting to get a little worried with how over whelmed I have been feeling...my patience is gone, I have been yelling, I have been so stressed that I swear I can feel my blood boil, as soon as the boys get up I think how long I have till bedtime. I hate feeling this way! I want to be able to enjoy my kids and I want my kids to quit whining and fighting. I don't know what to do anymore...they don't listen worth a crap! I know if I was to follow through ALL the time with their punishment and not just 75% of the time it would really help but to be honest I don't even have the strengthto discipline them after they do something for the 50th time. I feel myself almost going into a little depression. I started having depression after the birth of Nick..man that was a rough time in my life. I had ppd so bad but it is weird because I was the opposite of what ppd says you should feel. I was scared to leave Nick, I was afraid something was going to happen to him, I was scared to put Nick down..you get the point. I do not ever want to go back into a depression that bad ever again! I am thinking of getting back on my medicine....I truly honestly think I might need some kind of nerve pill also! If you made it this far thanks for listening...things will be better soon! I hope! lol

Friday, July 3, 2009

Friday Firsts


Christophers first time sledding...we had tried to get him to go sledding before but he refused but finally this past winter he went and he loved it!